Satire/Odd News
What I should do on summer vacation
City & State imagines learning-focused trips for PA’s politicos

Perry Spring/Getty Images; photocabin/Getty Images
Pennsylvania’s powerful need some “live, laugh, love” moments – and there are few better ways to find them than on an individualized trip focused on personal growth that helps open hearts and minds.
As a public service, City & State has some summer vacation ideas for several of Pennsylvania’s biggest and brightest, offering firsthand experiences we believe could change their perspectives:
Joe Pittman visits a SEPTA station
Having Pittman – SEPTA’s toughest opponent in the state Senate – and other GOP grandstanders who call the city a “shithole” daytripping on the Market-Frankford Line will show them how transit riders from all walks of life need SEPTA to get around.
John Fetterman visits his Philadelphia office
An all-too-rare visit by Pennsylvania’s lightning-rod U.S. senator to his Philadelphia district office might be better suited to October – all those cobwebs and skeletons of would-be staffers give off early Halloween vibes.
Dave McCormick spends time on his Pennsylvania farmstead
Pennsylvania’s newest senator comes with bespoke baggage of his own – questions regarding his true residency that date back to his campaign. McCormick, a longtime Connecticut resident, can kick off summer with a trip back to his roots at the family farm near Bloomsburg.
Summer Lee and Chris Rabb go on Birthright Israel
Two of the most outspoken Democrats in the state will now bookend the congressional delegation, with Summer Lee in Pittsburgh and Chris Rabb in Philadelphia. The pair has plenty to say about Israel and Palestine – so it only makes sense that they would take an educational trip of their own to see the Holy Land up close.
Rob Bresnahan rings the stock exchange closing bell
The congressional freshman’s stock portfolio and proximity to New York make perfect sense for a poignant day trip to the Big Apple, where Bresnahan can take a helicopter tour of the city and cap off the day by ringing the Stock Exchange’s closing bell.
The Wawa goose and Buc-ee's beaver swap places
The gas chain giants try living a day in the life of a fellow regional icon. Wally Goose will try to navigate his way through one of the Texas-based chain’s legendary labyrinths to find some beaver nuggets, while Bucky the Beaver sinks his teeth into a pork roll Sizzli.
Pennsylvania’s gridiron stars go on a spa retreat
Both of the state’s football teams could use a day off. Nick Sirianni and Big Dom can dip into meditative practices and receive “tush push” glute massages, while Aaron Rodgers can learn the ways of science-backed remedies and modern medicine.
Lawmakers tour the National Watch and Clock Museum
It’s time to have all four legislative caucuses meet at the National Watch and Clock Museum in Columbia, so lawmakers can examine the history of timepieces – and, since the clock is ticking on this year’s budget, figure out how to get a budget done on time.
NEXT STORY: This week’s biggest Winners & Losers