Groundhog’s Day divination

As the eyes of a frozen populace turned toward a small town in Jefferson County for a glimmer of hope about when winter will stop coming, we couldn’t help but wonder: What if Punxsutawney Phil could predict when other endurance tests could end?

City & State has some Groundhog’s Day predictions and prognostications for Pennsylvania that could be too good to be true – or could be a sign we’re all in a time loop. Would you rather any of these bold takes come true, or would you like another six weeks of winter as Phil predicted Monday morning? 

Phil turns his ankle getting out of his den: six-to-eight-week recovery and rehab  

Phil sees Josh Shapiro smiling for the cameras: six more years of television appearances

Phil sees a shadowy figure in the distance: six more weeks of ICE agents on the streets 

Phil sees a hologram of himself produced by PETA: he spends the next six weeks in a relationship with an AI groundhog

Phil doesn’t see any early-morning tailgaters: The Steelers, Pirates, Penguins, Eagles, Phillies and Flyers will all miss the playoffs

Phil sees a “Delinquency Notice” envelope blowing in the wind: the state budget will be delayed by six weeks